Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Anxiety/Panic Support Community's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, July 21st, 2011
8:18 pm [panicrehearsal]	Weight gain and meds Are there ANY medications out there that won't make me balloon up? This shit is so frustrating! My Dr has tried a few different ones but every single one just makes the scale go up. I couldn't handle it and stopped them all cold turkey (which I do NOT recommend.) sorry for the rant, I'm just at the end of my rope with dealing with it. Any advice or suggestions and personal experiences? Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 13th, 2011
2:06 pm [lyndseynicolle]	I just can't deal... I feel like I've had anxiety for a good portionof my life, and since it's never been really looked into, and its never been taken care of its gotten gradually worse and worrse and has formed itself into what I'm dealing with now.      I think it started gettign worse like right around my last couple years of high school. I didn't have very many friends I was very often bullied teased and gossiped about, so now those are like my biggest triggers. To this day I can't walk past a group of ppl laughing or talking and NOT think that their talking or laughing about me, even though I KNOW that there not it still doesn't stop the thought from crossing my mind. So one thought leads to another and another and they all come really fast and before I know it I'm about to have an anxiety attack.        After I graduated I went away to school for a year and that only made things worse. Number one, I was very very homesick so of course that didn't help/ And being away just opened me up to so many other things, like so many other dangerous things and...lots of bad stuff happened to me up there. I was bullied and harassed nearly daily by my rmmate and I was also...attacked..well scratch that not attacked I was taken advantage of. And that gives me more and more anxiety. I can't walk home at night or walk to class, even when I'm wiith someone if I am it does make things somewhat better but I'm still always thinking that someones following us or the guy on the bus is gonna grab me or SOMETHING thats the thing with my anxiety disorder its ALWAYS something.       I moved back home this past summer and go to a small community college now, and I can't even fathom the thought of EVER leaving again, though I know that I need too and don't want to live with my family forever. Because I have felt really suffocated being here and very anxious. It's gotten at its worse in the past couple of weeks to where no matter how tired I am or how long I close my eyes I can not sleep. I will just sit there, with my eyes wide open liteally all night just thinking and thinking about every single thing, and one thought leads to another and another until my mind is just racing. I get the worse stomach aches lately now and the worse mscle pain. It was extremely painful for me to even get out of bed today.       My anxiety disorder ranges to anything from OCD obsessive type thoughts, to social anxiety to generalized anxiety to panic disorder. I feel like if I had of caught it sooner it wouldn't have gotten this bad. And I just feel like my anxiety is the way that I've ALWAYS dealt with things. Whenever I'm in a bad situation or whatever the case is I don't know any other way to react besides having a panic attack or crying. And i just..idk what to do n e more. ..      I feel embarassed I feel sad, depressed. I just want this to stop happening to me... (Comment on this)
Monday, December 6th, 2010
10:54 pm [dexterx]	Hope this helps someone somewhere http://www.depression.org.nz/?utm_source=Performance&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=generic (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 4th, 2009
2:47 pm [juniperbrze]	So I noticed that I only post when I'm freaking out.... Thought I would post at a moment where I was actually calm for the moment. I have these anxiety attacks that happen out of nowhere. It's my PTSD but I have always had panic and anxiety all due to trauma. I remember everything. I have a question though... does anyone else panic ever because they don't know what is wrong with them? I find if I have like a sick stomach or a head ache or am feeling a certain way I NEED to know why so I can fix it... and not knowing gives me more anxiety. I am in treatment for PTSD and my trauma and it's only made it worse. It's helping ofcourse but everything is on the surface. I can't wait for it to all be over, the pain and anxiety. But I know that the healing process can take a while... Tips that usually help me calm down... I carry a rubics cube, a hand puzzle. Putty... one of those snappers to make myself feel better. I like to- well no one LIKES to- but it helps me to throw my hands out. Hold on tight to something, do a huge jerk of movement... sometimes I can't control the jerking... so I try to keep something with me that has something to do with my hands. Also something to smell, like lavender... or vanilla or Cinnamon... it helps me to remember being ok. Also ripping papers... running my hands over a rough surface to make myself feel like I am ok... I thought I would share some tactics... just in case some of you struggle with the same things. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 23rd, 2008
4:13 pm [magnolia44]	My first day of college is on Monday, and it's Saturday. I also just got a new job, and my first day is on Tuesday morning before school. I feel like it's all really surreal, and it's not really going to happen, like I'm not really going to be in classes on Monday-Friday. I'm really nervous.  I talked to my mom about everything, and she put everything into perspective saying I've been just sitting around the house for 3 months over the summer, no job, no school, really no interaction with anyone, and that's what I've gotten comfortable with and now that everything is starting up, of course I'm going to have panic and anxiety. She gave me CDs and it's a 15 week program for anxiety and depression, and I just started the first CD today.  It's really crazy to hear it, because I can now identify with so many other people, who feel exactly the same as me, same fears, same way of thinking. I'm really hopeful that everything will settle down in a few weeks and I will get comfortable with my new busy schedule and total new environment at college.  I'm using today and tomorrow as just days to relax, and clear my head and get ready for everything.  The thing that's really making me anxious is that I don't have anything to wear to school.  But then, they're just clothes right? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, August 22nd, 2008
8:46 pm [magnolia44]	today... today i had orientation for college.  every freshman was there in the gym, and i had locked myself in the bathroom crying, because i couldn't handle it.  i actually left early, and i probably missed some important stuff.  i feel like such a loser  (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 10th, 2007
9:13 pm [lil_flirty_one]	Wanna Share Some News Hey there beautiful people , yesterday was in fact a good day . I had to drive from tampa to tallahassee which is a 4 hour trip for me , all though i did not make the trip alone i did however drive the 4 hours without taking a xanax. In fact i didnt take a xanax on the way back so i in fact made a 8 hour trip without it. I finally took one at approx midnight just to unwind . I am so proud of myself , then I went without one till 8pm . Unfortunately i got one of those headaches , (maybe withdrawal) so i had to take half (.25). I just wanted to share some good news and maybe give those who are having tough times with this beast a glimmer of hope that you can conquer it one tiny step at a time . I have been going through panic attacks for 3 years off and on lately more on. But I'm determined to get my life back and i am here to offer a ear to anyone who needs it. I have a habit of bringing a little humor to it , and it is not as bad , i have decided not to dwell on it i want to be in control and not have it control me , i know that sounds easier said than done and i have my off days just like everyone else but i pick myself and start the next day like yesterday did not exists. with much luv and respect your fellow pani-maniac...(wink) Current Mood: excited (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007
8:38 am [evilnstuff]	Introduction Hello!  I just joined, I'm 39, female and have anxiety and panic issues/attacks or whatever you call them.  I don't have a therapist, unless you can consider medication that, and thought this would be a good place to be able to let loose when I have an, errrrr occurrence.  I think I have always had anxiety - looking back it's easy to spot, but it was after events caused by my ex (starting from before I divorced him), that they became a real problem in  my life, getting in the way of a "normal" day.  Thankfully, I can talk to my mom much of the time, and it soothes me to the point I don't have to pop a pill, but she cannot always be there, ya know.  I'm angered that "he" did this to me, I have a hard time excepting even happiness when it's right in front of my face, and I'm afraid that I will loose people I love because of this.  I hate the feelings it causes me, like I want to jump out of my skin - like it's crawling.  Sometimes I can't even make it to the smokeshop to buy cigarettes or sometimes even food, I have to have my S/O do it for me.  This is ridiculous and very unsettling. I keep telling myself that I have to do this that or the other to make myself better, but I can't seem to get myself to do what I think it is I should do.  I know I have problems, I know there are things I can do to help, but why can't I seem to do anything? Current Mood: anxious (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 24th, 2007
6:39 pm [msangel]	he's gone. he's really, really gone. wow.  what a waste of a few months. i should have never let him back into my life.  i was doing just fine.  really, i was.  he said, above all things, i want to be your friend this time.  he wasn't.  he said, i never want to hurt you again.  but he did.  this all shall pass.  hopefully, i'll be over it soon.  being hung up and hurt over the same guy for the second time sucks.  Suddenly my age and the fact that i am still single is bothering me.  it never really bothered me before.  angel, how do you expect to find someone if all you do is push them away?  i do not know.  angel, you broke things off with HIM.  you can't possibly expect him to call or come over now.  but i do, i did.  i want to break things off with him then i want him to come back on his own and then i'll feel better and i'll tell myself, he must really love me cause he comes back everytime i break up with him.  oh yes, it's true ~ self-esteem doesn't live here full-time.  only some of the time.  i must test everyone.  test!  test!  testing....you are part of an emotionally grueling test to see if angel can trust you or not.  to pass, you must stay and endure every exhausting, pathetic, desperate, dramatic experiment that angel throws at you.  she has to be really, really sure that you like her.  She has to be really, really sure that you care about her and love her and believe in her and you'll never leave and your eyes will never stray and you'll think about her during the day, and you'll call her when you say you will and you want to hang out with her instead of your friends and you will make her feel beautiful and you will never leave her.   sadly, she will make sure that you fail the test, so she can be a victim, alone and isolated.  this is very important to her because it means that she will never have to be close to anyone.  never  have to trust anyone.  and YOU must let her live this twisted lie or she will push you away next. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 7th, 2007
10:14 am [mrshannibal]	anxiety once again i am visited by an old friend don't know the length of the visit or the reason but it's here anxiety it doesn't knock on my door hasn't since we first met it overwhelms me - makes me shake turns my stomach leaving me confused and torn i rush around - willing it to leave trying to hide i don't want to be held by this i am cornered - it envelopes me tearing me between fear, depression and mania i am at a loss for words - i can feel my strength waning and i struggle to hold back to hold onto sanity but it holds me Current Mood: anxious (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 21st, 2006
1:20 pm [mrshannibal]	these anxieties/mania seems to be climbing on top of me... i feel like my brain/head/mind is moving at incredible speeds, and yet - physically? i am moving slowly and i can't seem to function physically... i barely managed to eat a complete lunch... this derealization feeling is for the shits right about now... not pleasant at all... so i am going home, taking a klonopin and laying down cuz really - that would be the safest place for me to be right about now... more tomorrow... (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 12th, 2006
2:35 pm [lemonbox]	Save The Furries! I don't know if this is okay, but I didn't find that is was written as forbidden? I've become a foster parent for two kittie families of BARC. Until last night I had 2 nursing mothers & 6 babies(3 each). As of 12:48am this morning, I lost one. I spent all of yesterday & last night with her, but she just wasn't strong enough. One of my kittie families is very sick. They contracted some sort of virus inside the shelter before I picked them up.... now they are battling for their lives. One of the kittens seemed healthy, & I seperated her out immidiately. She is doing well & has been adopted(so to speak) by my own kitties. The remaining kitten & it's mother are very sick. Not doing well at all! The mother is coughing & sneezing & is absolutely dripping mucus. Very dehydrated. She is pretty miserable. She has stopped eating & as a result has stopped producing milk for the baby. We'd essentially been force feeding her, but this stresses her out so, it's almost not worth it. The baby is very hopefull, & can be coaxed to eat goats milk & wet cat food. She still isn't intaking enough. She's catching her mother's illness. Her dehydration has reached a level that causes horrible diarreah. This means that none of the benifits of her eating is sticking. They both need medication, IV fluids, & much much more. BARC can/will only cover this for a moment. They will provide some of the IV fluids & medication. These animinals need much much more. I'm asking all of you now, please help me! I'm requesting donations from anyone & everyone. Anything you can give. Everything helps! Without this vital assistance, they will die too! When making a donation, if you'd like updates on these babies... Comment in your contact info. We can send you pictures & info of their(hopefull) progress. Thank you! if donate button fails, you can donate via paypal to friendsoffurries@yahoo.com X-Posted (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
2:52 pm [nightspawn]	Pimping a new community Can you find some lighheartedness is the darkness? How about some funny in the crazy? Maybe some quips from the journal of an anxiety filled life? I think you have the idea. emmabuggles, our mighty (community) creator and moderator, put it like this; "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it" "I have started this community for people who want to find any positives in their mental illness. It is for jokes, quips and stories. Also, feel free to post purely to be cheered up if your down (but please don't write too much about how ~blah~ you're feeling... keep it short or lj-cut it!). It is not for taking mentall ilness lightly. Mental Illness is serious and debilitating. It is horrific to be taken over by." So, if you'd like to help each other in finding or sharing some humor or bright spots in your insanity, join us at defy_the_beasts Cool name, huh? Current Mood: curious (Comment on this)
Monday, May 8th, 2006
1:20 pm [nightspawn]	Injecting a bit of levity Ziggy: Everytime I hear a strange noise, I have a zombie panic attack. Lusty: what is it with you and zombies?! Ziggy: Are you not afraid of zombies? Lusty: they don't exist. Ziggy: That's what they think in movies too. Ziggy: Right before the invasion Current Mood: amused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 15th, 2006
8:50 pm [saywa]	Whhhhy oh whhhhy!! Why is it that when I don't feel well physically (for REAL not due to anxiety symptoms) I start to flip out. Since Saturday afternoon I've felt awful. I've just felt all around droopy and my stomach is a mess. I don't know if it's something I ate or if I caught a stomach bug. I automatically jump to the worst possible scenario. "I'm pregnant (even though I'm on my period RIGHT NOW) or I'm dying or I've had a cyst burst" or something stupid. Then I get all worked up and I feel worse. BLAH! Why can't I just be sick and not worry myself to death?! Not to mention the thought of actually throwing up terrifies me. I'm such a hypochondriac. Does anyone else do this to themselves? Do you have anything that makes you feel better? Current Mood: anxious (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 31st, 2005
8:55 am [mrshannibal]	this morning's dream: i am at a house down the street near the bowling alley...there are several people in the house - most are friends...children running around, lots of food, beverages, what nots and a couple of dogs...the celebration is my birthday and at first i am fine with it...but then it becomes too much for me to handle, and i want to leave...i still want the party to continue, but i don't want to be there anymore...i hear someone say a couple of people are coming to play some live music and i want to be gone before they arrive...someone brings out the cake with a bunch of candles and everyone sings as i blow out the candles...the anxiety is overwhelming now, so i get up and literally walk out he front door...it's sunny and bright outside and i want to run and hide...i walk along the side of the house and look for a place when i see more people arrive with food and ice cream...a couple of young girls come up to me and smile, then go off to a nearby park and play...i walk around the house only to discover the side door is another entrance to the house and people can see me...i walk around a monster truck in the driveway and just stand there, hoping not to be found...i hear singing and the musicians are sitting in the front yard playing and singing... i have nowhere to go... then i woke up... i am almost certain this has a lot to do with going out tonite with everyone and celebrating the new year when i'd much rather stay at home and watch movies and not really do anything at all...i want to get past this feeling, but it's so damn hard... thanks for letting me share (Comment on this)
Friday, December 23rd, 2005
9:33 am [mrshannibal]	hey folks buddy (that's my dog) and i want to wish you and yours a most wonderfully joyous christmas and a fantabulous new year... sincerely, ^_^ <---- (me) ()^_^() <---- (buddy) (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 26th, 2005
5:12 am [ash1ar]	A question .... I posted this on a few poetry journals but i'm posting it here too because I know a lot of you write and publish your work on livejournal. Hello poetry folks. I'm working on a paper for one of my classes and i'm making all of you my research. If you would be so kind as to answer any or all of these questions, it would be most kind of you. I'm writing about Modernist poets, poetry, and poetics. All of you are THE modern poets of the day, weather your able or willing to believe that or not. So here are my questions... Why do post your work publicly online for no charge? What style of poetry do you write? (IE: What is your normal or preferred topic) What form do you write in if any? And why or why not? Do you have any classical training in writing poetry, or writing in general, and if so what is that background? If you have poets that you admire who you feel have influenced and maybe even show their presence in your own work, let me know which poet(s) and how you are able to see elements of their influence in your own work. Answer as few or as many as you can do so easily. Or if one in particular interests you, answer to that one exclusivly, or if you have a better question to pose along those lines, by all means post it. THank you in advance for your help. Current Mood: exhausted (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
1:34 pm [k0rdell]	My Story I want to start this off by saying that I'm very lucky. Things could have been much worse for me and I could have been stuck with a much less understanding family and things could have been much uglier. I'm very aware that what I've had to deal with pales in comparison to what many here have to deal with on a daily basis, and I'm inspired every time I read one of your stories. But after many years, I think I'm finally comfortable enough to share my story. With the people in anxietypanic and perhaps even those on my friends list. It's not an epic by any means but I think it's something I need to do. If you're interested: ( Please read on ) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 14th, 2005
11:35 am [acousticub]	Some things better some things worse So I am doing a lot better with my issues of fear over my relationship. I have been working through some stuff in therapy and with Jay and am on medication. I have been put on Abilify and Lamictal and I notice it helping my symptoms, but it is also making me tired and dizzy during the day. I take it in the morning and I know its the Lamictal doing it because I recently went up in dose and that’s when I noticed a debilitating lack of focus and drowsiness, a full body fatigue and depression sets in. I cant concentrate on my work at all. Then around 11 am it subsides and I start to sweat and get a little energized, yet still unfocused. I am not worrying about what Jay is doing and feel comfortable with my relationship, but I definitely feel moody and feel physical side effects. The change around 11am is probably due to the prednisone kicking in, but I'm just not sure, my guess is that its the Abilify that is helping me and the Lamictal is not. I also know that my internal therapeutic work is going really well and maybe I don’t need drugs, but I'm just not sure. I hate the side effects of the Prednisone, and am suspicious of the Lamictal, but I need the Prednisone for now for respiratory illness and if I go off it I have to step down. The Lamictal may be just a matter of giving it a chance to level off. I'm scared of what will happen when I go up in dosage on Friday. So, I feel better in some ways but some of the side effects are torturous. Not to mention it seems to make ejaculation even more difficult than it already was, which does not help my obsession with being sexually "broken" I just don’t know what’s helping and what’s hurting, but at least I feel some freedom from my insane panic and worry over my love life and feel more comfortable with my partner, He is happier with me as well, but dealing with the side effects are no picnic for him either. I guess its a bumpy road to recovery. Has anyone had experiences like this. Can you offer any insight? (Comment on this)